Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
