where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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