sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
