Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
