eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have fence marks all over my body
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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