TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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