oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
