its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
