I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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