i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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