so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
