Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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