how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
