Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
