she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
