Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
