I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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