Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am one with the molecules
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
