so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
