the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
