he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i've created a new STD.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
