Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
