you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
