i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
