But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
