Four minutes until I can fart!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
