It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
