I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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