Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
