I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
