dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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