Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
