im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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