So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
