Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
