i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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