I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
