it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
