It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Drake has all the answers
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
