Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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