I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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