I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
