apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
