so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
