I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
