im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My feet surprised me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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