I want you more than these girls want KFC
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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