whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
