Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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