I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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